Choosing a Better Ending

Did you ever read those "Choose Your Own Adventure Books" when you were a kid, where you could take on the role of the protagonist and make choices that would determine the main character's actions and eventually decide the conclusion of the exciting tale?  One of the reasons I love writing so much is that I can choose amazing endings for all of my own character's stories.  It's like my own "Choose Your Own Adventure Book" where I can follow my character's development all the way to the story's satisfying end.  It's too bad that I sometimes forget that I am also living my own, "Choose Your Own Adventure" story and I can also direct and redirect my own life's experiences.  In the midst of a particularly bad week, I read this amazing quote.  "At any given moment you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end."  

How glad I was to internalize these words.  This last week has certainly brought many challenges that I would definitely like to free myself from.  Sometimes life gets hard and we get mired down in the toughness of it and forget that ultimately we have the power to look for a better solution in living our own life story.  All of us experience hardships and disappointments along life's journey.  But even if we are bogged down in a lot of crud and muck we can change life into something beautiful. 

A few years back I had the amazing opportunity of visiting Switzerland and hiking in the gorgeous Swiss Alps.  As my husband and I were hiking along at the base of the Matterhorn one afternoon, I came across a curious sight.  The mountainside was dotted with the occasional goat pie from those wonderful, happy, hairy, bell-clad, Swiss goats, but right in the middle of the trail was a splendid dried specimen that was crowned with stunning purple flowers.  The fact that something so beautiful could arise from something so dire was frankly inspiring to me, and so I took a picture.  Those little flowers taught me a lesson:  even if you are surrounded by crap, you can still turn your face toward the sunshine and become something noteworthy.

Ralph Waldo Emerson has said, "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

  

No matter where we are on the road of life or what kind of muck lies in our way we can change our direction.  I'm ready to be done with the "nonsense" of this week and choose a different adventure, one with a much better outcome, one with an inspiring view at the end of the story.  I hope we can all remember that it's never too late to choose a better ending!  

In the words of Jeffrey R. Holland, "Don’t give up. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”  

Thanksgiving and Prayer

Thanksgiving is forever changed for me.  I will never again be able to think about it the same.  I always thought that Thanksgiving was all about the Pilgrims and the American Indians and being thankful for surviving those first years in the Americas, but I learned last Thursday that the first Thanksgiving celebrated as a nation was so much more than that.  My family and I went to Thanksgiving dinner at my brother's house this year and had a wonderful time with many of my siblings and their families.  But before we sat down to dinner and before we had a prayer of thanksgiving as a family my nephew, Nathan, read the following, written in 1789 by President George Washington establishing Thanksgiving as a national holiday:

Photo courtesy of Garen M. via Flickr

General Thanksgiving

By the PRESIDENT of the United States Of America
A PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

(signed) G. Washington

Source: The Massachusetts Centinel, Wednesday, October 14, 1789

For some reason I've never heard this before.  A day of "Public Thanksgiving and Prayer" to the "service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good" is a lot different than the holiday that we celebrate today.  It is far more than the slight mention of the pilgrims, the day of football, and the encroachment of Black Friday that it has become.

I didn't even participate in Black Friday this year.  Somehow I couldn't with all of the abundance around me.  Surely we can dedicate at least one day of the year or even a weekend "to the great Lord and ruler of Nations."

On Friday, my husband and I went to see Steven Spielberg's fine movie, Lincoln, about the thirteenth amendment, and I was left wondering if I knew anything about this country at all.  I certainly wasn't taught in school more than just fluff growing up.  I am so grateful that my eyes were opened this last weekend to a greater understanding of the humility and sacrifices of our forefathers.  We will never know what they ultimately gave their lives for if we don't take time to learn and study for ourselves.  It certainly won't be taught in schools or given to us by the media.  This I know.  It is my hope and prayer during this turbulent time in our nation that we will take the time to learn all we can about those who sacrificed and died before us so that we can fully appreciate our freedoms and our great abundance.  It is also my hope that this will cause us to turn to our Father in Heaven in humble prayer and thanksgiving for all the countless blessings that we have.

Epiphanies of Gratitude

While sitting in the doctor's office yesterday with my oldest son who is preparing for a mission, we heard an older woman say in a loud voice, "Don't take me in backwards, I can't see where I am going."  We turned around to see an older gentleman gently backing his wife in a wheelchair through the door. 

"Well, let's get you turned around, then," he said kindly.  He made sure his wife was comfortable before checking in at the desk.  

The wife began to fidget with the wheelchair, "I thought you said that the wheels lock when you push back on the chair," she complained.

"No, dear, that was the other wheelchair," he said with compassion, while locking her wheels in place for her and sitting down beside her.  She was thirsty and wanting a drink, and so he got up from his seat again and asked the receptionist for a cup so that he could get his wife a drink from the drinking fountain nearby.  He filled up her cup a little more than half full and handed it to her carefully.

She responded by saying, "You didn't fill it all the way up, did you?  You are going to have to drink some.  I can't drink this much."  The elderly woman drank most of the water and then handed the rest to her husband who finished it for her without complaint.

The conversation continued much the same, with the woman complaining and the gentleman answering with gracious kindness.  Listening to their conversation, I was greatly affected by the woman's simple lack of gratitude.  Here was a good, kind man lovingly serving her and she could not seem to muster even a simple, "Thank you."  It struck me profoundly then, the importance of gratitude; the importance of saying, "Thank you," to all of those around us, especially God.  For without gratitude we are never truly satisfied.

I've heard it said recently that if we were only able to retain those things in our lives that we thanked God for each day, what would we have left?  I've thought a lot about that.  Have we thanked God today for all of those blessings in our lives that we just couldn't live without?  Our blessings are so abundant. Just look at the world around us! Betty Smith has said, "Look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first time or the last time.  Then your time on earth will be filled with glory."

I wish that the wife of this charity filled older gentleman could have the experience of looking at her husband for the first time just as I did yesterday.  She is richly blessed by the constant service of an angel on earth who loves her so completely.  What a enormous blessing it is to have that kind of love!

John Milton tells us, "Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."

May we have epiphanies of gratitude this week as we sit down with our loved ones during this Thanksgiving Holiday.  May our time on earth be "filled with glory," as we look at everything as though we were seeing it for the first or last time.  And may we bow our heads in thanks to God for all the many blessings we cannot do without.

Gaining Perspective

Every year when my husband would put up the Christmas lights, I would stand outside and give "advice" on how to better place the lights to my higher standards, until four years ago when he had an unexpected heart attack, making it entirely impossible for my husband to put up the lights that year.  And because I wanted Christmas lights so badly, I made the journey up onto our high pitched roof and attempted to put up the Christmas lights myself; just the way I thought they should be done.  I soon realized that putting up Christmas lights on our house was not only entirely terrifying, but placing the Christmas lights on all the gables, just like I liked it, was really more like a death wish.  I recognized in probably less than thirty seconds, just how many times my husband had put his life on the line just to please his ridiculous, persnickety wife, not to mention, just how physically taxing it was to do the job in the first place. 

Photo courtesy of Paul Clifford Bannister via Flickr

This experience has left me wondering how many times we judge the perceived faults of others without adequate perspective.  The character Atticus Finch in Harper Lee's Novel, To Kill a Mockingbird says something very wise, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."  Isn't it important to reserve judgment until we've done just that?

Dave Barry has said something amusing but very insightful, “There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.” 

How often do we stand there looking outward, instead of inward when it comes to being reproving of others?  We never really do know what others are going through until we've walked a mile in their shoes, right?  And I think the Lord would encourage us to even go that extra mile in trying to gain a greater perspective.  After all, how often are we "missing the whole point" by only seeing what is obvious and on the surface? 

I heard a profound quote recently:  "Our days our happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind."  Isn't that true?  Shouldn't we give love before judgment, at least until we have a real understanding of what that person is going through?  Isn't that the Lord's way?

Now that the time has come again to put up those Christmas lights in celebration of the birth of the Prince of Peace, my heart warms toward my husband like it has for the past three years.  With my perspective forever changed, I'll never again stand outside giving "advice."  Instead I'll be ready with a mug of steaming hot chocolate and a grateful heart for a loving husband who is happy to take care of that tough job for me.  

Counting Blessings instead of Burdens

Do you every feel weighed down with so many burdens that you can barely stand?  I know that there have been several times in the last few years where I have become so weary with burdens that I didn't even want to get out of bed.  I've even wondered if life was worth living at all.  It is at times like these that I realize I am counting my burdens instead of counting my blessings.

After my husband had a near fatal heart attack 4 years ago, I was pretty weighed down with troubles.  I was not only taking care of a recovering husband, but five children as well, and life was pretty darn tough.  All those around me were appropriately concerned for my husband's health, while I sunk lower and lower under the burden of it all.  One day a friend of mine asked me how I was doing.  I began to tell her of my husband's progress, but she stopped me and said, "Jenn, how are you holding up?"  I was so touched by her concern for me that I almost burst into tears.  I was even more touched when a few days later she came by with a $5 dollar gift card to Bath and Body Works and a quart of my favorite ice cream, which she'd gone to the trouble to discover was peppermint.  This time I shed tears of gratitude for her concern for just little old me.

This simple act of kindness made all of the difference!  In fact, it turned everything around.  I was finally able to see my blessings again rather than just my heavy burdens.

Thornton Wilder has said, "We can only be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."

As I began to count my treasures, I found that they far outweighed my burdens.  I felt alive again.  I learned that gratitude turns what we have into more than enough to keep going.  

William Penn tells us, "The secret to happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles."

I know this to be true.  Having gratitude helps us to see our lives in a wondrous way rather than just seeing the burdens in our field of view.  According to G. K. Chesterton, "I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder."  

The more blessings we count, the more we can see the hand of God in our lives and the more our burdens diminish.  May we thank Him each day for our many wondrous blessings.  For in the words of Meister Eckhart, "If the only prayer you said your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice."